How to explain identity theft to your child

Child identity theft occurs when someone uses your child’s personal information to wrongfully gain access to services or benefits, or to commit fraud.

This type of theft may include opening a new bank or credit card account in your child’s name, taking out fraudulent loans, and even applying for government benefits such as unemployment. This type of theft is unsettling to think about, but there are steps you can take to help protect your child when they go online. 

Talking about online safety as a family early and often is one of the best things you can do to prevent identity theft. Here are guidelines on how to have this important talk to keep your child informed, without overwhelming them. 

Talking to younger kids (up to age 13)

• Have the tech talk early and often. It’s important to start an open, honest conversation about staying safe online from a young age and to continue the discussion as your child gets older. Teach them to not share identifiable or sensitive information, and to be wary of downloading files. Teach your child not to make purchases online without parental consent and educate them about online scams so that they stay alert.‍
• Keep it simple. It is harder for younger kiddos to understand more complex issues like identity theft. Use simple language and stick to the facts when educating them.  For example: “When you go online, it’s important to be careful what you share because there are some people who try to trick children into sharing their personal information. They can use information like your birthday or address in ways that are dishonest. You can stay safe online by never sharing your information. It’s also important that you let me know right away if you get any messages on your devices asking for personal information.” ‍
• Encourage questions. Tell your child to come back to you when (not if) they have more questions. Let them know that you are a safe space to turn to without shame or judgment.  If you don’t know the answer to their question, assure them that you will find out and get back to them.
• ‍Family tech boundaries. Limits help children feel safe and teach them how to self-regulate. It can be beneficial to create a family media plan so that you can set clear, realistic limits together. Talk about app limits, parental controls, no tech times, and ways that you can all use technology in healthier ways. ‍
• Let them know they are not in trouble. Let your child know that if they ever accidentally share private information online they can always come to you. Assure them that they will not get in trouble and you have their back. Children who are scared of getting in trouble may not alert their parents when they have fallen for an identity theft scam. And the sooner you know they might be at risk, the sooner you can take action. 

Talking to teens (age 13 and up) 

• Keep it private. Teach your teens to never post personal information, such as their birthday, address, social security number, driver’s license, passport, or other documents online. Remind them that even though they may be proud of getting their driver's license, they should not post a photo of themselves holding it.
• ‍Inform them of the risks. Let your teen know that falling victim to identity theft can potentially affect their future when they go to apply for their first credit card or their first job. This way, they can better understand the need for precautions. ‍
• Learn together. Research ways to stay safe from identity theft together and learn about the risks by reading news stories of how other children and teens have been affected. If your teen asks questions you don’t know the answer to, look it up from credible sources and learn together. ‍
• Hold space for their emotions. Talking to your teen about identity theft can bring up a lot of big emotions, especially if they’ve encountered scams online before and are scared their information could be at risk. Take some time to check in with how they are feeling and ask how you can best support them. 

Find support 

We know trying to keep your child or teen safe online can be overwhelming, but the good news is you don’t have to navigate this alone. With the help of a mental health therapist or coach, your child or teen can better understand all the big emotions these topics bring up and gain tools for safe tech use for a lifetime.