My son told me that his best friend's family has an “internet agreement” - What is that? Should I have one?
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Family device and internet agreements are great mechanisms for getting on the same page with your child before allowing them to use the internet or get their own phone.
Sitting down with your child to craft a media use agreement that addresses everyone’s use of television, tablet, computer, smartphone, gaming, and other devices can set expectations and opportunities for holding one another accountable.
It’s important that children have input into the agreement and that everyone signs on. Some things to consider when crafting a media use agreement include:
- Time. How much time should each member of the family be off screens to be physically and mentally healthy? Does the time they use screens differ by day of the week or by what else is going on?
- Location. Are there locations where and times when screens are off-limits, such as the dinner table or before bedtime?
- Content. What types of content are healthy for the child at this age?
- Online interaction. How is your child expected to interact online with respect for themselves and others? What does this look like.
- Support. How can your child bring you questions, concerns, or fears that arise from their own or others’ experiences online?
- Monitoring. How will parents monitor their children’s media use? When will children begin to self-monitor?
- Accountability. What happens when someone breaks this agreement? What will the consequences be?
- Differing expectations. What rules will all family members follow? How and why might expectations be different for adults and for children of different ages?
Following the guide, you will be able to:
- Figure out what your family’s rules might be, and talk about them with your kids.
- Explain why you have set these rules, and ask your kids what they think.
- Adjust some of the rules based on their feedback to encourage a trusting relationship about online safety.
Every family is different, but our friends at Boston Children’s Digital Wellness Lab have a great guide to crafting those agreements here.
Other questions
How can I decide if an online game is safe for my child?
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There are many questions you can ask yourself to determine if a game is safe for your child. Here are a few that our friends at Kidas recommend.
My teenage son is withdrawing from real life and spends all his time online. Should I be worried?
The teenage years can be a rollercoaster of emotions, and while some behavioral changes are completely normal, it’s important to recognize when your teen is isolating and experiencing changes in behavior or mood due.
My child was exposed to some inappropriate content on Roblox. I feel awful and don’t know what they saw. What should I do?
Unfortunately, you can't guarantee that your children won't see inappropriate content online — accidentally or intentionally. Start by talking to your child about what they saw. Provide a safe space. Many children keep problems secret from their parents because they fear they might get in trouble.
How do I talk to my kids about using ChatGPT and AI for homework? How do I explain the difference between cheating/ethics and using technology to help solve problems?
Over the past year, artificial intelligence (AI), including ChatGPT, has become increasingly popular, making it important for parents, kids, and teachers to better understand how to incorporate this new technology into their homes and classrooms.
Am I wrong for not wanting my kids to have a mobile phone? I feel that this is something reserved for a teenager around the ages if 16 and up.
Unfortunately, there’s no right answer—no perfect age for a kid to get their first phone.
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